Episode#8: “Oddball’s odd behavior” by Emily

“Well, what do you want, Fred?” sanpped a cross looking woman stepping out from the shadows holding a baseball bat. She was tall and skinny looking in a holy kind of way, with red hair that could rival Flibbage’s in mass, with a pair of glasses perched on the end of her nose.
“Hi I’m Beansprout, and this must be the lost temple of Choom we have so conveniently fallen into, whilst looking for the explanation to my prophecy…?”
“If we’ve fallen into the wrong temple,” whispered Flibbage, “You are going to look really stupid.”
“Right then Fred!” said the High Priestess person.
“No, my name is Beansprout.”
“That’s what I said Fred!”
“Dude, there is really something wrong with her,” said Cablim settling himself on Sprout’s shoulder.
“Brains!” giggled the High Priestess, and began to nod her head to some inaudible music..[You really do expect her to go "Narf" at this point.]
Yakky had the presence of mind to wonder if the High Priestess was (unsurprisingly) Nepalese and therefore decided to try speaking the language, in case this nonsense was just garbled English.
“Yurck g’Zurt grak m’nzen hai?” [That’s not real Nepalese, it’s special fictional Nepalese, as you can probably guess] he asked which roughly translates as “you don’t happen to have any Faerie prophesies lying around, do you?”
“Murk gruz’n Huk-huk Mindetta shan,” she replied.
Yakky puzzled over the phrase “Mindetta is digging graves in my brain.” for a long time, wondering if it was a cryptic clue, then he told the others.
“She’s crazy.” Said Flib.
“Quite mad.” Said Sprout.
“Whoa, that chick is weird!” said Cablim.
“I’m a freak!” concurred the High Priestess, at which point Beansprout lost her patience.
“Oh come on! Let’s go find the prophecy ourselves!”
“Youth of today, always in such a hurry et c. et c.” whined Cablim before he could stop himself.
“Oh that Prophecy!” said the High Priestess in an abnormal moment of normality, “Why didn’t you say so Fred? I know where that is!” and she frowned at them in a ‘don’t mess with me, I’m the high priestess’ kind of way, then stalked off down a dimly lit side corridor. The children, having been through too much to complain, merely rolled their eyes and followed. The high priestess (let us call her Oddball) led them to a high vaulted chamber deep in the catacombs of the temple. On a plinth in the middle of the room was another floppy disk. A small label on the front read ‘The Prophecy- (meaning thereof)’
“My laptop exploded! Now what am I going to do?”
“Here you go Fred.” Said Oddball pulling open a cupboard on the side of the plinth. In it was a shiny new laptop emblazoned with the words 'Incredibly Holy Celestial Laptop of Gawd', which she passed to Sprout. In an overly dramatic manner, Beansprout strode up to the plinth. She hesitated and then grabbed the disk. A slow grinding noise began and dust started to shower around them as the masonry trembled.
“Ah yes, I forgot. Watch out for the Booby-traps.” said Oddball absent-mindedly.
The four children stood still for a very long second as horror dawned.
“RUN!!!” Screamed Beansprout and bolted for the nearest doorway.
Yakky Picked up the celestial laptop of Gawd and followed her. Flibbage and Cablim followed him.
Cue: lots of highly choreographed running, falling masonry, lava et.c
Cue: Beansprout, Yakky Flibbage and Cablim diving out of a cave in the hillside just as it collapses behind them.[for people who had originally fallen down a deep pit, they must have been running uphill for a fair period...while the lava chased them, uh...upwards...forget it.]
“Phew!” Said Yakky, that was extremely close!”
“God bless Cinematic timing!” said Flibbage as Beansprout booted up the laptop. With fingers crossed she inserted the disk. The screen sprang to life and words scrolled across;
‘Hi kids, I guess now you’ve proved that you can take care of yourselves. Well done for not being dead yet! So I guess you’re all wondering about the prophecy…’
“Too Right!”
“Shh!”
‘Now you’ve all stopped talking, thank you, I will continue (Its Cabbage By the way ^_^ Hiya!) Your mission should you choose to accept it is… to um… Oh goddamn! I knew there was a point in it somewhere… Never mind, just go home,[You suck. Seriously.] I expect you all had lots of fun.
Ps. Send your little brother Back! He hasn’t done his homework!’
“Oh. My. God.” Said Beansprout. “I don’t ****ing believe it!!”
“I suppose we did kind of have fun.” Said Yakky disconsolately.
“Shut the **** up Yakky.” Said Flibbage and kicked her brother back to the Faerie Realm.
The three children sat on a rock outside the ruined temple, and realized they had been to America, Nepal and Faerieland, on one long quest to find out if there was a quest. All they had to show for it was a lot of bruises and a cool looking laptop.
“What a bloody waste of time that was,” said Beansprout. Everyone nodded.
*Fade To Black*
[Thus concludes InubuYAKasha Volume 1, in which no world-changing events happened, and nobody learned any valuable lessons. They might do at some future time. But what do you expect? Yakky and Beansprout’s ages don’t even go into double figures, and Flibbage is only 456, a mere baby of a fairy. You can’t have any sex or death or deep meaningful plotlines when you’re that age, for goodness sake!][Damn straight! Ally toasts Em the editor][I'm sure they could with a little effort. The plotlines I mean. Not the sex. Ew.]