"Uh. Weren't we on Earth a minute ago? This is Mars." Said Flibbage as they left the Martian spaceport.
"Uh. WHY are we on Mars?" added Beansprout.
"Uh. Is there food on Mars?" asked Kyakky. For answers they turned to J.
"Hell if I know!" Said J.
"Yeah well, nice going Will! So we're on some planet for no reason at all. And poor Kyakky could STARVE!" Said Flibbage crossly, waving her arm at Kyakky, who tried to look woeful.
"My name is J!!!" Hissed J. " J! J-A-Y! Not Will!"[HAH, but it isn't A-Y is it? Is it?! No! There's no A or Y to be seen! You don't even know how to spell your own fake name, do you Smithy-boy?]
"Oh well excuse me, Mr. "look-at-my-nice-suit-and-corporate-identity" I forgot that we all have to call you J! Come on guys, lets go get Pizza!" and with that she grabbed Kyakky and Beansprout by their collars, and dragged them off into the hazy red landscape, muttering under her breath about pretentious film stars.
"Where are you going?" Yelled J, "There's no pizza on Mars!"
* * * * *

It may occur to the avid reader that they left Glastonbury with a tubby dinosaur in tow, with the instruction that it should lead them to Buffy's lair. However it was so useless, repulsive, and frankly, flatulent, that they had left it on an asteroid. [There are no asteroids between the Earth and Mars...][ nor is they pizza on mars, or in fact an atmosphere. But lets forget all that, and just say they went the scenic route. And ACTUALLY yes there are asteroids, and sometimes they hit us.] Beansprout was sure it wouldn't be that hard to find Buffy, as you could just follow the trail of discarded expensive, but slightly out of fashion shoes. However they had ended up on Mars, so much for that plan. Mars was big, Mars was red, Mars was very, very empty. No shoes. The three friends trekked across the endless desert in search of pizza.
"Yakky," Said Sprout absentmindedly poking him in the ribs, couldn't you find someone better looking to possess? K is old and chubby!"
"Do you see anyone else?"
"What about J, he's getting on my nerves."
Kyakky frowned. "Huh. Why should you care how I look anyway?"
"Shut up! It's just that- that well- Shut up!"
Flibbage rolled her eyes.
"Besides." Said Kyakky "K knows all kind of cool stuff, like about guns and cars!"
"Oh Yay." Said Flibbage "Guns and cars. Two of the top three thought processes of men.[If you're so clever, where do football and Big Red Buttons fit into this equation, hm?] Still, he can't possess Will, cos we need him to get us around the universe, and If Yakky left K, we'd have to deal with K again, and I don't think he was really on our side."
Kyakky walked ahead of the girls to have a sulk about being a man and being judged because of it.[perhaps something tim can identify with..?] Beansprout turned to Flibbage. "Why the folk do you keep calling J, Will?"
"Because he is a fictional character imported into this narrative strand to balance the male/female ratio in the primary protagonists."
"Huh?"
"Never mind… you're not a faery."
"Hey, guys!" Said Kyakky, Staring at a small reddish lump in the distance "That looks like… Pizza Hut!"["Piiizza Huuut, fuck yeah! Coming again to save the motherfucking day yeah!"]
"How the hell can you see from here?" said Sprout peering through the haze.
"I think that K has implants in his eyes," he answered striding forward purposefully, and as they got nearer, it was in fact, Pizza hut. On Mars.
"Illogical," mused Flibbage, "but whoever cared about logic?"
Kyakky, Flibbage and Sprout made a dramatic entrance as they were becoming accustomed to in their role as adventurers, by throwing back the doors with a crash. Several aliens looked up and gasped in horror as the Earthlings strode in and ordered the biggest, most elaborate pizza they could think of.
"Mmmmm. Pizza." said Kyakky.
"Mmmmm. Pepperoni. " said Flibbage.
"Mmmmm. Pizza, well that showed me!" Said J, sauntering in and grabbing a slice, as if no one was cross with him.
"Mmmmm." Peace and quiet." said Beansprout, through a mouthful of pizza.
Then the roof fell in.
Dum Dum DUMM!
[Well I think that wins the prize for most written/least happened episode. Thank you procrastination fans!]