Episode#24 "Dude! Where's my comedic farce conventions?" or
"Ooops Ally's done it again." By Emily

"Stupid Folking MEN!" raged Beansprout as Flibbage joined her in the main office again. "Now what are we gonna do?!"
"Well we could do what we originally set out to do," said Flibbage, walking purposefully towards the back of the room.
"Kick Buffy's ass? Kind of done." [naive child...]
"Nah." answered the fairy looking into a glass cabinet. A green glow appeared around her hand and she smashed her fist into it, retrieving a sword. It had a plain, wooden hilt, like a Japanese katana, and the blade was long, wide at the ends like a scimitar. Other than that, it was fairly unremarkable, with a faintly blue-tinged blade, no overly sharp edges and no mystic symbols. "One Sword of Slayskull, I'm guessing."
"I'd forgotten about that. Does it do anything?" Flib handed it to her, and she swung it in the air experimentally. Nothing happened. "Guess I finally got my magic sword then." [Seriously, where is Skeletor when you need him?]
The building was beginning to shake around them, plaster dust was raining out of the ceiling onto them.
"I think we should get out of here…" said Sprout worriedly.
"And as ever, I have a plan." Sighed Flibbage. "Lets do what we always do when faced with situations we can't cope with."
"What?"
"Go to Faerie."
"But what about Yakky? Oh, and J."
"Well J can certainly cope on his own, and as for Yakky, I think we'll see him again. Anyone who cared about you enough to haunt you isn't exactly about to disappear forever, is he?" [Oh come on, they were exploded by the same bomb. There's a real bond there.]
"WHAT!!?"
"Nothing." Flib replied, and with a flick of her wand, returned them to Faerieland. With perfect cinematic timing, the whole building collapsed, with much noise and pyrotechnics[divers alarums and excursions]. On one side of the huge pile of smoking rubble, J dusted down his clothes, put away the retractable abseiling equipment and walked off morosely. On the other side, Yakky brushed his hair out of his eyes, and tried to stop himself hoping they were all okay, especially Beansprout.
* * * * *
The two much bedraggled girls trudged their way into the Faerie court, where they found Cabbage, on her throne eating a pavlova.
"WaaaaaaRGH!!! Ghosts! Ghosts!" Screamed the Faerie Queen and fell off the throne backwards.
"Nah. This time we're clones possessed by ghosts." Said Flibbage.
"Really?!" said HRH Cabbage, trying to regain her composure, whilst being covered in bits of meringue, yogurt and kiwi fruit.
"Yes mum. Really."
"How awfully intelligent. That had to have been one of your little plans darling, wasn't it. I'm awfully glad you're not dead. I nearly had to name Cablim as my successor, and a man just can't be a queen, [duh?] not of the faeries anyway…"
"Mum, that's all very nice. But we killed Buffy-"
"Oh you didn't did you? Oh what a shame, she makes such a good evil villainess-"
"Yes Mum. And we got the Sword of Slayskull. But it turns out that the real bad guy is the head of the NGSPIB."
"Ah. Its one of those plots is it? Oh and hello Beansprout, that's the sword there, is it? Get your mother to have a look at it, she's getting good at identifying mystery objects, I might make her my official court Identifier of Stuff."
"My mother's alive?" said Beansprout breathlessly.
"Oh yes. She and Barry didn't think it wise to stay on Earth, what with Buffy ruling it and all, so they came to live here. Your mother is training to be a Faery, she got fed up with computers."
"Woohoo!" yelled Beansprout and ran off. No one blamed her, because she already seemed a little edgy.
"Now, sweetheart." said the Queen," What did you do with those two lovely boys you've been dragging around with you recently?" There was an edge to her voice that struck Flibbage's sense of foreboding.
"They went off in huffs because their view of reality was contested, and Sprout supposedly doesn't fancy them, which frankly is rather lame becau-" Flibbage trailed off as she realized her mother was doing the over dramatic expression of terrible impending doom. This made her nervous.
"WHAT!? No! You have to get them back!"
"Come on mum, they weren't all that useful, and neither of them fancy me, which only proves how stupid they are…" grumbled the crown princess of Faerie. [It's true. In any anime she'd have been given a "Go on, you're the last two left, have fun" relationship with J. But alas, poor Flibbage...]
"No Flibbage! Don't you pay any attention to the ancient laws of generics?! You know the rules for adventurers;" the Queen cleared her throat."1# primary protagonist with magical artifact, prophecy, arch nemesis and quest, 2# one sidekick. After those two central characters you have to have token representatives of the opposite sex/other species/races." [Or more like six of them, if you're in a Final Fantasy game]
"Well yeah, but we never had any problems with our generics before they turned up, why should we now?"
"You can always increase the numbers of central protagonists the narrative strands just become more complex to support them, but if you remove a protagonist, they must be replaced with a similar figure or the balance of the narrative is upset."
"Oh."
"You have to find them. Get them to forgive you, forgive themselves, anyway you know how. If you ever want to see a happy ending again, that is. If not, all kinds of bad things will happen, terrible things."
"Like what?"
"Like none of the conventions will work for you anymore. You won't have a plan, let me tell you that. And if Sprout can think of anything sarcastic to say, I'll be very much surprised."
"Awww CRAP!" cursed Flibbage and stamped her foot on the ground. "Why me? Why is it always me?" Suddenly a large chunk of plaster fell from the ceiling and hit her on the head.
"Terrible things. Mmhmm. See?" said Cabbage.

And here's a great spot to leave the series on a terrible cliff hanger…
WHAT WILL SPROUT DO WITH THE SWORD?
HOW WILL THEY PERSUADE THE USELESS (YET SEEMINGLY UNESCAPABLE FOR NARRATIVE REASONS) MALE PROTAGONISTS TO COME BACK?
WILL FLIBBAGE EVER EXPLAIN THE SCIENCE OF GENERICS IN A MANNER COMPREHENSIBLE TO MORTALS???
WILL RED EVER GET TO BE A FAERY?
WILL CABBAGE GET ANOTHER PAVLOVA? [Well, if you can't get a pavlova in your own kingdom, it's a sorry thing indeed]
FIND OUT IN THE FORSEEABLE FUTURE OF INUBUYAKASHA!