Episode #74 *everyone sing* "I've got a theory…"
By Emily

[And 'Fun Game of the Week is; 'Spell Inubuyakasha words in Japanese!'

Inubuyakasha= well its spelt the same, so I thought I'd try and give it some meaning…*checks dictionary for nearest bits of words 'inu'…'bun'…'ya'…'kasa' there we go, 'dog-thing-shop-umbrella!"

Beansprout= Biinsupurauto or alternately 'Moyashi'
Yakky= Yakii
Cabbage = Kyabetsu
Red= Aka
Flibbage= Furibaji
J= Jei
Now where was I oh yeah, episode… Goddamn arranged marriage setup, making my life difficult. Okay, this series has been dragging on too long, time to start winding up towards the season finale][ Damn Straight.]

Now I'll bet everyone had been wondering what became of Flori hmm? Well, similar to the fate that befell Flee!-Bee, Oddball's borrowed magic had managed not to actually kill her, but instead knocked her into the drain she was enchanting, and the magical overload had turned it into an intertextual link, because drains, like portaloos, stand at the gateway between this world and the next.
So Flori found herself in a strange new world, which had a sort of camped-up, gothic, Tim Burton-esque look about it. But more pink. She was in a palatial pink room decorated with black drapes and roses. On a throne sat a woman who was unmistakably a Faery.
"Who are you? Where am I?" said Flori dazedly as dazed people do.
The Faerie looked down from the throne with interest, "Well I am the Original Hardcore Faery of Pink Havok, Queen of this, The Faerie UnderRealm."
"But Cabbage is Queen of Faerie!"
"Not this Faerie, Pet. Only original and hardcore faeries are allowed to live here."
"What!?" said Flori enraged, "Our Faeries are original and hardcore. I bet you don't have a Gold Card Faery, or a Bone Faery, or… or … a Crystallized Stem Ginger And Punk Rock Faery!"
"Sounds lame. All my Faeries could beat your rubbish Faery friends." Said The Faery, Whose real name was Kat. "Underlings!", she clicked her fingers and some very familiar looking elves and imps appeared. "Timlin, Emynym, Lily, take this imposter away! If she gives you any trouble, feed her to the Evil Ice Horse!"
"You'll pay for this!" Yelled Flori as she was dragged away, "Wait until the real Faeries find out where I am! You'll see!"
[Not read the story will she? Bwahahahahahaha]
* * *
"I want a divorce Flibbage!" Yelled Yakky for about the tenth time.
"Well so do I!!!"
"How could you do that to me???"
"To stop you getting yourself killed!"
"Heheheh… this is better than American soap operas," chuckled Beansprout to herself. J had long since been sent away, as he was the only one Beansprout was capable of doing damage to, Yakky had been shouting at Flibbage ever since.
"So- what? -You married me to save me from my girlfriend?"
"Well yes actually…"
"Aaaargh!"
Beansprout collapsed, paralysed with laughter, "This is so -haha Folkin' hilarious- hehe- he thinks he's in love with me but -haha- you had to -ffah!- Marry him to stop me-haha- ripping his throut out- hahaha! Hehe heehee ha- Help me- haha hahaha!"
Flibbage and Yakky stepped back suddenly.
"Did you hear that just now?" whispered Yakky, as Beansprout rolled around clutching her sides, "Just now, when she was laughing?"
"Yeah," said Flibbage under her breath, "Help Me. Sounded almost like the real her for a second"
"And she said Folk, she doesn't say that now."
They both stared at Beansprout, who was still laughing, oblivious,
"I'm going back to Faerie now." Said Flibbage abruptly.
"Why?"
"I've got a theory I need to check out." She replied and disappeared.
"What? She's too regal just to have a plan anymore?" said Yakky to himself.
* * *
"Faeries!" Yelled Flibbage in a voice so shrill that everyone came running to see what the hell was wrong now.
"Faeries," said Flibbage, adopting a proper speech voice once everyone was there (even Cabbage, who was muttering under her breath about usurpers to the throne, and was being carried by Little Sophie, who was having the time of her life), "I've got a theory that may be of great importance should it prove true. As you know, there has never been a truly evil Faery, until the incident with Campfy, which led to the present state of the Realm. As most of you will know, Campfy was the result of a reaction which combined the Villainess Buffy, with an elf called Flamilla, who seemed to be an exact replica of her- but good. Now to test my theory, I will need the help of the nymphs Flarry and Fleckini, and the elves Flathryn and Fleeter, could you step up here please?" The three bit-part Faeries, looked startled, then nervously walked over to where Flibbage stood.
"Now why the hell this never occurred to me or anyone else before, I don't know, but if you look at this lot, you will notice a strong resemblance to some of our adversaries. Jenenchilada" she pointed at Fleckini, "Barry," She pointed at Flarry, "and Agent C." she pointed at Flathryn. "Now you Fleeter, look a lot like Petrobrad, but we know it suits him to work with us even though he's Neutral/Evil." The audience gasped, the resemblance was suddenly crystal clear and everyone wondered why they didn't see it before. [oh this is good, I like it][exposition exposition!]
"My theory is that Faeries are in fact the misplaced good emotions of evil people." Flibbage continued, to the sound of much uproar. "Now if this was a perfect world, which believe me, it isn't, this would mean we could eradicate all our enemies by hurling the appropriate elf at them, but the Campfy incident has proved that the resulting entity is far too unstable. The balance between good and evil is too easily tipped to the dark side, turning them into hugely destructive and powerfully magical creatures-" Flibbage paused for effect. "-like what I fear is happening to Beansprout. As a half-Faery, she has been constantly pitting the two sides of her personality against each other and the Big Pricks have managed to push her so far that her better nature has been overwhelmed by her violent urges. I don't know how to stop this yet, so just thank your lucky stars she's never tried to do a spell…"
[that's my episode of exposition done, funny how the most random facts sometimes come together and be really useful. I reiterate, none of that was planned before this episode.][Yup. Sadly, I now have no idea what to do. Although, I think Flib's last sentence is just to tempting to leave alone…]