“Space Opera.”  

[Beansprout and her bizarre pair of sidekicks return for a saga that takes a turn for the gothic, but meanwhile is full of the logic defying mayhem we know and love.]

Episode #15 “Now the thugs don’t work, they just make you hurt, but then that’s their job you fool.” -By Ally

On a lonely mountainside, an icy wind howled and swirled like whipped cream.[I have NEVER known the wind to do that Alice …] Rain sliced through the air like arrows, and a stubby but elegant silhouette stood by a rock. Something gleamed; a sword set deep in the stone, and then began to glow faintly as the figure touched it. Blue light began to crackle up and down the blade and the figure gripped tighter.

“By the power of Slayskull…” *Wrenches the sword out of the stone, holds it up, unfortunately not getting struck by lightning* “… I HAVE THE POWER!!!”

Meanwhile a car pulled up outside a house in the slums of Buckinghamshire. The car was very shiny, very black and looked like it was moving about mach 3 even when it was parked. Two men, dressed in black suits, and wearing shades got out and walked up to the door.

“Shoot the lock off, J.”

“Can’t we just knock, K?”

K glared at him. “We don’t tolerate this kind of resistance.”

“It’s a shut door!”

“Exactly,” K sighed and pulled out a small key ring, “I suppose I’ll have to do this myself.”

“I really don’t think that was necessary,” J complained as they stepped over the rubble where the house used to be.

“You wouldn’t.” [I like this version of K. He's an idiot, but he's a badass idiot]

They walked towards the two people left in the ruins. One of them was a young girl looking around shrieking “Holy Shit!!!” The other was typing busily away on her laptop.

“I thought you said there would be no witnesses, you incompetent fool!” snarled K.

“Well I wasn’t the one who went psycho on the house!”

“Never mind, get the clicky thing.”

J got out a small thing that went *Waaaap!*. The needle on it swung on to ‘Dappy’. “We don’t need it. She won’t notice a thing.”

“Right, seize… “ K took out his personal organizer. “Beansprout, Jones 15 and six months, a spiky haired, sarcastic teen with a flair for defeating criminal master minds.”

J did so despite Beansprout kicking, biting and screaming “MUM!!! I’m being KIDNAPPED!”

“That’s nice dear.”

“I’M BEING DRAGGED INTO A BLOODY CAR!!!”

“Mmhmm?”

“MUUUUM!” Beansprout yelled as the car pulled away. Then, deciding on a different tack, poked her pocket. “Flib, you useless elf! Do something.”

“m, sleepy, bog orf…”

“Yakky! Yakky? Oh great, just leave me on my own when I actually need you…”

The car pulled up outside a very big black building and Beansprout was hustled inside.

What will happen to Beansprout?

Who are these mysterious Black-suited Folk?

Why is Red so infernally Dappy?

Find out next week.